Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Did your parents have any children that lived?"
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, yes, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name fat body?"
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Lawrence? Lawrence what... of Arabia?"
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, no, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "That name sounds like royalty. Are you royalty?"
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, no, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Do you suck dicks?"
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, no, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose."
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, no, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle."
Pvt. Pyle: "Sir, yes, sir."