Liv: "What happened to Caesar?"
Ravi: "Oh, he came, he saw, he was stabbed several times with a sharp cylindric object."

Blaine: "You know what I fear more than death?"
Candy Baker: "Love?"
Blaine: "Unrealized potential."

Blaine: "You're that box of chocolate from Forest Gump, I never know what I'm gonna get."
Liv: "You're gettin' chocolate, bro!"

"Right now I got one word on my vision and that is justice."

Ravi: "You bought a granate out of the trunk of a car, how come you can't buy any drugs at a nightclub?"
Major: "It's a different skillset."

"Guys, we should get matched tattoos."

Major: [drunk, about going to sleep] "I won't let anything happen to you."
Liv: "And I won't shave your eyebrows."