Bridget Jones's Baby

"So you have no idea which of us is the father?"

"It's like the final of the X Factor. Dial zero one if you want it to be Mark and zero two if you want it to be Jack."
[to Jack and Mark]

[Bridget and Mark are at the Doctor's office]
Dr. Rawling: "So this is dad, I presume. So glad you could be here, this is a unique and wonderful moment."
Bridget Jones: "Dr. Rawling, I wonder if you could maybe do me a little favor."
Dr. Rawling: "Hmm."
[later, Bridget is seeing Dr. Rawling with Jack]
Dr. Rawling: "So this is dad I presume. I'm so glad you could be here, this is a unique an marvelous moment."

Bridget Jones: "Surely one of those dates is more likely."
Dr. Rawling: "They're both equally likely, so do bring along the father if you can work out which one he is."

"How do you orchestrate such cliffhangers in your life?"
[to Bridget]

Bridget Jones: "There's still a lot I don't know about him."
Shazza: "Well how much do you need to know? He has a pretty nice sized puppet."

Bridget's Mom: "Oh, no, Bridget. Who's the father? Is it Mark's?"
Bridget Jones: "There's at least a fifty percent chance."
Bridget's Mom: "A fifty percent chance? Did you have a three-way?"

"I'm pregnant!"