Contagion

[Hazmet Team putting a body in a mass grave]
"When did we run out of body bags?"
"Two days ago."

"Godzilla, King Kong, Frankenstein all in one."

"It's a bad day to be a rhesus monkey."

"Somewhere in the world, the wrong pig met up with the wrong bat."

"Why can't they invent a shot that keeps time from passing?"

Dave: "My wife makes me take off my clothes in the garage. Then she leaves out a bucket of warm water and some soap. And then she douses everything in hand sanitizer after I leave. I mean, she's overreacting, right?"
Erin: "Not really. And stop touching your face, Dave."

Dr. Cheever: "When was the last time you ate something that didn't come from a vending machine?"
Dr. Mears: "[hesitates] Taco Bell?"

"Someone doesn't have to weaponize the bird flu.The birds are doing that."