Desperate Housewives - Season 1

"It's the age old question, isn't it? How much do we really want to know about our neighbors?"

"Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house."

"Oh God, look at all these things, all these beautiful things that my ex-husbands worked so hard for, burnt to a crisp."

"When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain't one of them."

"An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look."

Gabrielle: "It's like my grandmother always said: an erect penis doesn't have a conscience."
Lynette: "Even the limp ones aren't that ethical."

Rex: "I can't believe you tried to kill me."
Bree: "Yes, well, I feel badly about that"

"My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning's paper you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally there is never anything newsworthy about my life, but that all changed last thursday. Of course everything seemed quite normal at first. I made breakfast for my family, I performed my chores, I completed my projects, I ran my errands. In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day, quietly polishing the routine of my life, until it gleamed with perfection. That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used."