2012

"It looks like the neutrinos coming from the sun have mutated into a new kind of nuclear particle. They're heating up the earth's core and suddenly act like microwaves."

Jackson Curtis: "Hey, have a safe trip, you little bastards."
Oleg: "Now you're laughing, Curtis, but we have tickets to go on on a big ship. We will live and you will die."

Jackson Curtis: "I was listening to the broadcast and I was wondering what is exactly that's gonna start in Hollywood?"
Charlie Frost: "It's the apocalypse. End of days. The Judgment Day, the end of the world, my friend. Christians called it the rapture, but the Mayans knew about it, the Hopis, the I Ching, the Bible, kind of..."

Jackson Curtis: "Going to this place really special place that I know. Actually, it's a place where your Mom and I used to hang out a lot."
Noah Curtis: "I don't wanna know where you and Mom had sex. I'm not ready for that, Jackson."
Jackson Curtis: "Stop calling me that. It's creeping me out. What's wrong with 'Dad'?"

"Honey, women pay me thousands of dollars to handle their boobs, and you get it for free."

Gordon Silberman: "Honey, why don't we make a baby?"
Kate Curtis: "We're not making a baby in the supermarket!"

Carl Anheuser: "Where the hell is President Wilson?"
President's Secretary Sally: "He's praying, Sir, and under these circumstances that's not such a bad idea."

"Always remember, folks. You heard it first from Charlie."