A Long Way Down

"However much I do change, I'm left with me."

Martin: "Genuinely, I don't know how you've survived her."
Chris: "Ear plugs."

"You're getting a thrill out of this, aren't you, you pervert! Oh my God, you're Martin Sharp! You ARE a pervert."

"Anyway, to cut a long story short, I decided to kill myself. That's the trouble with suicides, I've learned you can't cut the long story short, because it's the long story that people are interested in. Especially if you're me, which regrettably I was, and still am to this day. So, forgive me if you already knew this, but I'm Martin Sharp, the man who had everything. One wife, two children, three dogs, at least four People's Choice Awards, and five mornings a week on the most successful breakfast show in Britain. They were even offering my Mondays off. So far, so good. I had reached middle-age, unscathed, with money in the bank... until I met Suzy Jenkins at a launch for a new men's moisturizer. All I can say in my defense, Your Honor, is, she looked 25 to me."

Martin: "Has anyone ever told you you're a bit of an idiot?"
Chris: "I'm a politician, that's all they ever tell me."

Jess: "Are we in a gang?"
Martin: "This is not a gang."

JJ: "My therapist told me story, true story, about this guy who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge."
Jess: "It's an anecdote, not strictly a story."
JJ: "The moment he jumped, he realized that the only thing in his life he couldn't fix was the thing he'd just done. I mean, can you imagine those 5 seconds as he fell. The agony of that. Well, to me, it feels like I fell without falling, because of you guys. I had my 5 seconds up on that roof, and not in the air."

"We belong together, we're a team I mean we're the worst team the world has ever known and if I were picking none of you would have made it to the subs bench but still."