As Good as It Gets

"You like sad stories? Wanna hear mine?"

Carol: "Melvin, I'd rather not."
Melvin: "What does that got to do with it?"
Carol: "Funny, I thought it was a strong point."

Melvin: "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Simon: "Sure."
Melvin: "You ever get an erection over a woman?"
Simon: "Melvin..."
Melvin: "I mean, wouldn't your life be easier if you weren't..."
Simon: "You consider your life easy?"
Melvin: "[after a pause] All right, I give you that one."

"If you stare at someone long enough, you discover their humanity."

Melvin Udall: "[entering his psychiatrist's office] Hi... HELP!"
Dr. Green: "If you want to see me, you will not do this. You will make an appointment."
Melvin Udall: "Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?"

"To hell with sex! It was better than sex! We held each other! What I needed, he gave me great."

Melvin Udall: "Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were fifty."
Carol Connelly: "Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were kind, so so much for eyes."

"I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!"