CHiPs

Police Chief: "We linked you with a rookie named Jon Baker."
Ponch: "So who am I playing?"
Police Chief: "Francis Llewelyn Poncherello."
Ponch: "Are the first two female names?"
[Captain starts laughing]

"We don't know who in this department is in on this."

Ponch: "Okay, we need to focus." [gets distracted]
Jon Baker: "Are you kidding me right now?"
Ponch: "I'm just like kind of powerless to when it comes to yoga pants, you know."
Jon Baker: "Let's get you out of this parking lot, you have a visible erection. You think you can ride with that?"
Ponch: "I don't know."

Baker's Wife: "What are you wearing?"
Jon Baker: "My uniform."

Ponch: "It's like you're three beers too intimate."
Jon Baker: [mocking Ponch] "I'm a tough motorcycle cop. I got no emotion."

Jon Baker: "You're FBI?"
Ponch: "Yep."

Peterson: "What's your job?"
Ponch: "Find the dirty cops."

Jon Baker: "We're like Jay Z and Beyoncé. We are ride or die."
Ponch: "I'm Jay Z."