Danny the Dog

Infirmier: "So you essentially turned a man into a dog."
Bart: "Like my saint of a mom used to say: 'Get'em young enough and the possibilities are endless'."
Infirmier: "Let me see if I've got this straight. Now I don't pay you, you take his collar off.
Bart: Correctomundo."
Infirmier: "You take his collar off, he beats us all to death."
Bart: "Now who's the bright penny!"
Infirmier: "So it seems it's in my best interest to keep that collar on, then."

"You're a dog! You're my dog!"

Wyeth: "That thing with the collar... how did you do that?"
Bart: "Like my saint of a mom used to say: 'Get 'em young, and the possibilities are endless'."
Wyeth: "I thought it was the Jesuits who said that."
Bart: "Probably got it from my mom."

Bart: "I tell you, I feel really good here. And I feel generous. Danny, what do you want?"
Danny: "A piano."
Bart: "Excuse me?"
Danny: "I want a piano."
Bart: "A piano? Oh yeah. How about a lobster dinner?"
Danny: "I want a piano."
Bart: "How about a woman? You've never had a woman."
Danny: "I want a piano."
Bart: "Danny, you're starting to piss me off."
Danny: "I want a piano."
Bart: "That's what I love about you, Danny. One thought at a time."

Sam: "You okay?"
Danny: "She kissed me!"
Sam: "Yeah, she does that. How was it?"
Danny: "Wet."
Sam: "What else?"
Danny: "Nice."
Sam: "Wet. Nice. Sounds like what a kiss ought to feel like."

Victoria: "My selection tonight is dedicated to someone wonderful."
Danny: [looking at Sam] That's you!
Sam: "No, no, no, it's not me she's talking about."
Victoria: "Someone who's life was quite literally saved by music."
Sam: "That's you, my boy."