Date Night

"That's amazing, Jeremy, but I'm gonna go home now and fart into a shoe box."

Brad: !I thought everything was fine, really. But you know what? We are stuck in these roles together and we can't break out of them, you know? It's like that Asian dude in 'Sixteen Candles', Long Dik Dog.!
Phil: "Long Duk Dong."
Brad: "Long Duk Dong. That dude!"

"Even though your pecs make me want to kill myself, and your girlfriend is so hot it's like looking through a shimmering jet engine, I believe there is a real person in there."

Phil Foster: "Hey. Hey, yo, yo. I'll be down in a minute. I'm having sex. I'm getting busy."
Holbrooke: "Is that supposed to be me? Or is that, like, Fat Albert or somebody?"

"Oh my God! The bald and the crazy... gay couple date. Shit... my pants we forgot our gay couple date."

"Everything you're doing, I'm doing in heels. I just want you to know that."

"Oh my god, if I knew anything about Will.I.Am, I'd be really psyched right now!"

"Now you get up there and work that pole like a russian immigrant."