Hercules

"He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?"

"Yeah, I had a dream. I dreamed I would train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars for everyone to see. And everyone would say, 'That's Phil's boy'. That's right. Ah, but dreams are for rookies, kid. A guy can only take so much disappointment."

"Thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice."

"I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of 'yeuseus'. And every one of those bums let me down flatter than a discus. None of them could go the distance."

"He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute."

Meg: "Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?"
Hercules: "Oh gee, I don't know. Phil has the rest of the day pretty much booked."
Meg: "Aw, Phil, Schmil. Just follow me, out the window, round the dumbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone."

"Will you forget the head-slicing thing?"

Zeus: "Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration."
Hades: "Love to, Babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't."