Love the Coopers

Shop Security: "Would the grandparents of the lost child please come up and claim her."
Madison: "You are such a dick!"

Charlotte: "Next stop."
Sam: "To see the one, the only, Santa! Yay! [stops to see a line of Santas] And Santa's brothers. Kanta. Janta. Mylanta."
Charlotte: "Really?"

Eleanor: "Mom, Dad, this is Joe."
Joe: "We're engaged."
Eleanor: "Hm?"
Sam: "This calls for a toast."
Joe: "I'm an alcoholic. [everbody looks at Joe] I'm just kidding."
Sam: "Found a kidder."
Joe: "Yeah, just can't help it."
Eleanor: "Oh, try."

"That feeling like you've landed in the wrong life. Everybody feels that way."

"Such a fuss, when everything we want is right in front of us the whole time..."

Security Guard: "How did the jewels get into your mouth?"
Emma: "I thought it was a lozenge."

"Every time I go home I'm told it is so okay that I'm not in a relationship."
[to Joe]

"It's the only time of year when we're all together. I want the perfect Christmas."