Masterminds

"I'm starting to feel like a corn dog at a hot dog party, and it ain't flattering, I'll tell you that."

"Katie Candy Cane, is she a stripper?"

"People like you, you got that quality."
[to Kelly]

"Looks like you shot yourself a new butthole."

David: "Lord, that's a cheap door."
Kelly: "You gotta give me a three count next time."

"You farted right into my butt hole. It's like a fart transplant."

[David drives towards a metal gate]
David: "Brace your boobies."
Kelly: "What?"
David: "Sometimes the only way out is through."
Kelly: "No, no, no, no!"
[David hits the gate, which doesn't open, instead destroys the front of the car]

"Steve Chambers double-crossed me."