Tammy

Tammy: "Once I got fingered by Boz Scaggs."
Pearl: "Oh, Tammy."
Tammy: "No, it's okay. It turns out it wasn't Boz Scaggs."

"Hey, don't swear in front of my grandma, you piece of shit!"

Tammy: "And I'm suing you, bitch!"
Missi: "For what?"
Tammy: "You... for being an asshole! That's what I'm suing you for."

Tammy: "I do blame you. I blame you for shoving me out of a hotel room last night and letting me sleep outside like a dog. I blame you 'cause you're already on your second bloody Mary. It's not even 10:00 A.M."
Pearl: "This is vegetables."
Tammy: "I blame you for packing up your shit and making me come home from school when I was ten years old and finding an empty fucking room. That's what I blame you for. You know how shitty that was for a little kid? You left me all alone."
Pearl: "Well, you weren't alone. Your parents were there."
Tammy: "It's not the same thing. You were my best friend and you just left me. I'm probably gonna need a tetanus shot 'cause I got nipped by a raccoon last night."

Pearl: "I watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon."
Tammy: "On his bike?"
Pearl: "That's Lance."
Tammy: "It's... I don't care which brother it is."

Tammy: "What's Brookview?"
Pearl: "An old folks home... like a prison for old people."

Keith: "Tammy, do you know how I got to where I am?"
Tammy: "S*cking dick and kissing ass?"

Tammy: "That's not chicken. I don't know what it is, but it's not bird."
Keith: "I can promise you that's 110% bird."
Tammy: "Bird doesn't come out of a squeezy tube!"