The Brothers Grimsby

Nobby: "How can I help?"
Sebastian: "You stay away from me."
Nobby: "Don't worry, brother, I won't leave you!"

Luke: "Dad, I'm out of breath!"
Nobby: "Yeah, well, I told you not to smoke. At your age you should just be vaping."

Interviewer: "Do you have any other skills?"
Nobby: "I can make my balls look like Sir Ian McKellen."

"He's not MI5. When your hand's dirty it's Black Ops."

Nobby: "Ah, back to paradise."
Dawn: "That's your brother? Where have you been all these years?"
Sebastian: "I've been busy. Congratulations, by the way. When are you due?"
Dawn: "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat."
Sebastian: "Oh."

Sebastian: "It's imperative no one know that I'm here."
Nobby: "Our lips are sealed."
Dawn: "Mine aren't."
Nobby: "She's talking about her vagina."

Sebastian: "Who the hell are you?"
Nobby: "Your brother! It took me 28 years, but I finally found you."
Sebastian: "Nobby? Oh, my God."
Nobby: "How about a kiss? Not on the lips, I'm not from London."

"Yesterday I'm having a normal day down the pub with me mates, here I am now, in London with me long lost brother."