The Brothers Grimsby

Nobby: "Has anyone ever told you you're very beautiful woman."
Chambermaid: "Only a guest called Mr. Bill Cosby."

Chambermaid: "You want room clean?"
Nobby: "From top to bottom."

Sebastian: "Okay, Nobby. Seduce the agent in the green dress, you can't miss her, she's gorgeous."
[Nobby misses the agent and looks instead at the chambermaid]
Nobby: "Oh, no. She is gorgeous."

"I understand why you love guns so much. I mean it completely detaches you from the guilt of your actions."

"Go help your brother save the world."

Nobby: "I lost him forever. I'm useless."
Dawn: "You are not useless. Who's the man who can get me pregnant without even waking me up?"
Nobby: "Me."
Dawn: "Who's the man who's never even read a book?"
Nobby: "Me!"
Dawn: "And who's the man who had sex with me in a police station without even getting arrested?"
Nobby: "That wasn't me."
Dawn: "Oh, never mind that."

Sebastian: "That pellet was filled with a toxin and I'll be dead in ninety seconds! Here now, suck it out!
Nobby: "Absolutely not!"
Sebastian: "You can suck my scrotum or let me die."
Nobby: "Okay. What would you like written on your gravestone?"
Sebastian: "Suck my balls!"
Nobby: "And in what font would you like that?"

Nobby: "Oh, these heated seats make you feel like you've pissed yourself."
Sebastian: "There are no heated seats."
Nobby: "Oh."