The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

"This is what they call magic these days? This is some kind of terrible shit!"

Burt Wonderstone: "Mr. Gray. What you do is not magic. It is monkey porn."
Steve Gray: "I understand. It's natural for a dying leaf to be frightened by the autumn wind."

"I had imaginary friends, and even they were mean."

Burt Wonderstone: "Anton, what could possibly go wrong?"
Anton Marvelton: "Somebody could die, we can go to prison."
Burt Wonderstone: "See? When you say it out loud, it doesn't sound so bad."

Burt Wonderstone: "The life of a child magician."
Jane: "Yes. Try being a girl child magician. They called me Magic Bitch."

"God damn! That's the worst thing I ever saw in my life. And I saw my kids being born!"

Steve Gray: "I take people's nightmares and turn them into dream-realities."
Rance Holloway: "What the fuck is a dream-reality?"

"I quit the business, I don't read the trades and I'm late for my coma."