The Lobster

Loner Leader: "Where were you? I was looking for you."
David: "I was masturbating behind those trees over there."

Loner Leader: "Can you imagine why I brought you to this quiet place today?"
David: "No."
Loner Leader: "Because I think it's the perfect spot for your grave."

"That night, in my sleep, I dreamt that we lived in a big house together in the city with a large, well-lit kitchen, and I was wearing dark blue trousers and a tight cream blouse and he took my clothes off and f*cked me up the ass."

"He didn't burst into tears and he didn't think that the first thing most people do when they realize someone doesn't love them anymore is cry."

David: "You're like a brother to me. Oh, you're my best friend in the whole world."
Lisping Man: "I don't think I'm your best friend in the whole world."

"You can be alone here as long as you like, there is not time limit. Any romantic or sexual relations are punished."

"Hello everyone. My mother was left on her own when my father fell in love with a woman who was better at math than she was. She had a post graduate degree I think, whereas my mother was only a graduate. I was nineteen at the time. My mother entered the hotel, but didn't make it and was turned into a wolf. I really missed her. I found out she had been moved to a zoo. I often went there to see her. I'd give her raw meat. I knew that wolves liked raw meat, but I couldn't figure out which of the wolves was my mother so I used to give a little bit to each of them. One day I decided to enter the enclosure. I really missed her and I wanted a hug. I climbed the fence and jumped in. All the wolves charged at once and attacked me; all but two who stood motionless. My guess is that one of those two must have been my mother. The zoo guards got to me quite quickly and took me to the hospital. Thankfully I didn't lose my leg. I just have this limp, which is also my defining characteristic. My wife died six days ago. She was very beautiful and I loved her very much. She had a limp too."

Lisping Man: "Have you thought about what animals you want to be if you don't make it?"
David: "A lobster."
Lisping Man: "I'm gonna be a parrot if I don't make it. Why don't you become parrots too? And then we'll all be together."
The Limping Man: "You're a complete idiot, picking one of the few animals that can talk when you have speech impediment. You'll lisp, even as an animal. [to David] As you, they'll catch you and put you in a pot of boiling water until you die and then they'll crack open your claws with a tool, like pliers, and they'll suck out what little flesh you have with their mouths. You're pathetic, both of you. I'm not going to be turned into some animal. I'll come and visit you though with my partner, when we're walking together in some park or when we're swimming in the sea, or when we're on one of our trips."