Four Rooms * Quotes

"Like my old grand daddy used to say, 'The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect'."

"Everybody starts out as strangers, Ted. It's where we end up that counts."

"Problem? I haven't got a problem. I've got fucking problems. Plural!"

"I'm in a situation I can't begin to explain."

"I'm coming up and if there isn't a dead body by the time I get there, I'll make one myself. You!"

"I could go on and on about his cock, his bone, his knob, his bishop, wang, thang, rod, hot rod, hump mobile, oscar, dong, dagger, banana, cucumber, salami, sausage, kielbassa, schlong, dink, tool, big ben, Mr. Happy, Peter Pecker, pee-pee, wee-wee, wiener, pisser, pistol, piston joint, hose, horn, middle leg, third leg, meat, stick, joystick, dipstick, one-eyed wonder, junior, little head, little guy, rumple foreskin, tootsie roll, love muscle, skin flute, roto-rooter, snake, hammer, rammer, spammer, bazooka, rubber, chubby, sticky, stubby, schmeck, schmuck, schvantze, ying-yang, yang..."

"There's a dead body in my bed and it smells like shit and it looks even worse. And if you don't get your ass up here now, my Daddy's gonna lay you down next to her. I swear to fucking God!"