Amy Schumer

Kidnapper: "Why did you come to South America?"
Linda: "I never wanted to come."
Emily: "For the cultural experience. I don't speak any Spanish. I know what they call me at the restaurant, puta, which means princess or pretty or..."
Kidnapper: "No, it means whore."
Emily: "That checks out."

Kidnapper: "What's your pin number?"
Linda: "Do what he says."
Emily: "I already am before you told me to."
Linda: "Okay, okay."
Emily: "1, 2, 3, 4..."
Linda: "Oh, God...."
Emily: "I was gonna change it."

Emily: "Here's to nothing getting in the way of our adventure."
Michael: "Emily, I can't go to South America."
Emily: "Wait, wait. What?"
Michael: "Also I'm breaking up with you."
Emily: "When?"
Michael: "Like right now. This is it, you're in the middle of it."
Emily: [trying to kiss him] "You don't want to lose this."
Michael: "No... just stop."

"What I need is an amazing adventure."

"Oh, my God! This is Liam Neeson's Taken!"

"Oh, not you. It was me. Can you kind of beat it? Cause you're a distraction."

Linda: "Why did I ever let you talk me into this?"
Emily: "I should have just listened to you.... I love you."
Linda: "This is great, but we've really got to get out of here, you know."
Emily: "Yeah, we need to get out of here, okay..."

Emily: "That was not what it looked like."
James: "It looked like you're washing your vagina in the sink."