A Million Ways to Die in the West

"People die at the fair."
[repeated line]

"Oh my god! That went south so fast."

Albert: "That guy's one of the best shooters around, I look like Parkinson next to him."
Louise: "What's that?"
Albert: "It's just another way that god misteriously shows that he loves us."

Albert: "I've never been happy for 30 sustaining seconds in my live."
Anna: "No one has, this is the fucking West."

"How can you be so blind with eyes that big?"

Albert: "No no no, I suck at dance."
Anna: "No one will notice."
Albert: "How will they not notice?"
Anna: "Cause you suck at everything."

"Trust me."

Anna: "I love that the most illouring fashion statement a woman could make today is to simulate a fat ass."
Albert: "That is a simulation of a fat ass."
Anna: "Thank you."
Albert: "If I was a black guy, that would be the meanest trick you could play on me."