Fist Fight

911 Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Andy: "There's a crazy guy at my high school and he's trying to beat me up!"
911 Operator: "If you have a problem with a bully I need you to speak to a teacher."
Andy: "I am teacher!"
[the operator and all colleagues are laughing]
911 Operator: "You're a grow man, now go and take that ass-whooping."

"Why don't you just take a punch and just go down? Play dead like possums do or anything that's like a pussy animal."

Cop: "Flex."
Andy: "I am flexing."
Cop: "There's nothing there."

Andy: "I just don't know the first thing about fighting."
Teacher: "Make a fist."
[Andy makes an awkward fist]
Colleague: "Are you serious?"

Andy: "Maybe the best thing to do is just run."
Teacher: "I never said nothing about no running. Who's you, Seabiscuit?"

"I don't need to be liked, I need to educate."

"'Hashtag teacher fight'? Who else knows about this?"

Ron: "I'm gonna fight you."
Andy: "I'm sorry, what?"
Ron: "Parking lot, after school! It's on."
Andy: "Teachers don't fight!"
Ron: "I want everybody to see this."