Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

"One time I saw a movie, then walked across the hall and saw another movie. And I didn't even pay until afterwards."

Tatiana: "One time I got high, I read the back of the shampoo bottle for thirteen hours."
Jeanie: "Because it said repeat."
Tatiana: "Rinse and repeat."
Jeanie: "I get it."

"Are you ok?"
"I am now."
"I saved your live!"

"We find the right girls for this."

Mike: "Mom and dad, what's going on here?"
Burt: "Over the years of our family gathering, you two show up, aaaaand... you ruin it. I want you to bring a date. To your sister's wedding. We don't want you showing up stag and rile each other up."
Mike: "We don't rile each other up"
Dave: "We never get riled up!!!"