Monster-in-Law

Viola: "Marriage is a sacred union which must only be entered with the utmost care."
Charlie: "Weren't you married four times?"

"Let's go someplace near the ocean and drink lunch."

"I used to have such good gaydar."

Viola: "Why the question mark?"
Charlie: "Oh, 'cause I just don't know."

Charlie: "Where's your bridesmaid dress?"
Viola: "Oh, I gave it to Ruby's daughter, she works at Hooters, she was thrilled."
Ruby: "I have a daughter?"

"I thought you were dead, but evil doesn't die so easily."

Viola: "I cannot believe she compared me to Gertrude!"
Ruby: "I know. Now that's just wrong."
Viola: "Thank You."
Ruby: "You are far worse. I don't recall Gertrude ever trying to poison you. And I'm pretty sure she wore black to your wedding."
Viola: "Black. Yeah, she said she was in mourning. I just want my son to be happy."
Ruby: "Whatever made you think he wasn't?"

Charlie: "And about the holidays..."
Viola: "Are you gonna keep me away?"
Charlie: "You must be present for every Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, school play, clarinet recital and soccer game in our kids' lives. I want you to love them and spoil them and teach them things that Kevin and I can't, like how to throw a right hook for example. I want you there, Viola. I do, up front and center. From this point i will not negotiate."
Ruby: "Damn, that girl can give a nice little speech."