Our Brand Is Crisis

Castillo: "Did you hired me?"
Jane: "I'm sorry?"
Castillo: "Did you hired me?"
Jane: "No, no..."
Castillo: "I hired you!"
Jane: "No, nobody hired me. I cannot be hired. Unless you mean in the uhm, you know, the technical sense, then yes, I probably was hired."

"You know, when Adlai Stevenson was running for president a woman came to him on a rally one night and said 'Every thinking person will be voting for you'. Stevenson said 'Ma'am, that's not enough. I need a majority'."

"It's like someone said: 'If you don't like the road you're on, start paving another one'."

Castillo: "This llama will lead us toward prosperity."
[llama runs out of the barn door and is hit by a vehicle]
Jane: "It's like he killed himself rather than appear in our commercial."

"That's the world, that's politics. That's how it works. It starts out with big promises and ends up with jackshit happening. But it's like the man said: 'If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal'."