Project X

"The next time your pool guy comes by for a clean, he's gonna say, 'Excuse me Mr. Kub, but I think I may have found some water in your semen.'"

"I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree then, aren't we?"

Tyler: "Can I help you, sir?"
Rob: "I'm here to see Thomas."
Tyler: "First and last name, please."
Rob: "I'm Rob, the neighbor. Who the fuck are you?"
Tyler: "I'll ask the questions, sir."
Rob: "Exactly. Get the hell out of my way."

"I'm gonna go have a long cry, and then start calling some lawyers."

"Mr. Kub, how cool is it that Thomas was born on your anniversary, yeah? What a great anniversary gift. A baby."