Shoot 'Em Up

Smith: "You want to know the difference between this luxury car and a porcupine?"
Donna: "I give up."
Smith: "With the car, the prick's on the inside."

Hertz: "Bravo, Mr. Hero. Bravo."
Smith: "Why are you trying to kill this woman? [Hertz laughs] Something funny?"
Hertz: "Well, I was just remembering a limerick. 'There once was a woman who was quite begat. She had three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat. She said it was fun in the breeding, but found it was hell in the feeding, when she saw there was no tit for Tat'. You have caused me no end of trouble, but now I shall return the favor. Tit for tat, right?"

Smith: "Do you know what I hate?"
Baby's Mother: "No!"
Smith: "I hate these forty-year-old jack-holes wearing ponytails. That pony tail doesn't make you look hip, young, or cool."

"Eat your vegetables."

"You know what I really hate? What I really hate, is a pussy with a gun in his hand."

Hammerson: "Do you know why Americans love guns, Mr. Hertz? And it's got nothing to do with all that phallic mumbo-jumbo, 'cockin' your gun'. No, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity, where a poor man can become rich, and a pussy can become a tough guy, if he's got a gun in his hand. Now, I'm hopin' you're not just a pussy with a gun in your hand."
Hertz: "Oh no, sir. No, no, I am not. I'm a tough guy with a pussy in my hand."

Donna: "A bulletproof vest is better than a crib."
Smith: "I hate to think what you'd do to get him into the right school."

"So much for wearing your seatbelt."