The Hangover Part II

Phil: "You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?"
Mr. Chow: "I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this."

Kimmy: "This one was following me like little puppy dog all around, all night, saying that he fall in love with me, asked to marry me."
Alan: "Classic Stu."
Kimmy: "I dance for him, he tickle me, we have sex..."
Phil: "You're not married yet it's no big deal."
Stu: "It's cheating. No offense to you, you're a lovely woman, it's a violation of my moral code."
Kimmy: "What code is that? Stu you loved it, you were crying saying how special it was. I had to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick."
Stu: "Load?"
Alan: "What load?"
Kimmy: "Oh you know, my sperm."
Stu: "That is wrong, you're talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?"
Kimmy: "My balls. You're in Bangkok, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!"

"Have you ever seen monkey in jail?"

"I am a nurse, just not registered."

Phil: "It happened again, we lost Teddy."
Tracy: "How bad is it, like, no wedding bad?"
Phil: "A bit worse than that."

"I wish monkeys could Skype. Maybe someday."