The Wolf Of Wall Street

Jordan Belfort: "Oh my God! You had to deal with the Golf Course people too! What a greek tragedy! Honey oh my God! You probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! What a fucking burden, and actually had to do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day? Huh? Cause I can't keep track of your professions honey! Last month you were a wine connoisseur, and now you're an aspiring landscape architect, isn't that right?"
Naomi Lapaglia: "Fuck you!"
Jordan Belfort: "Don't you dare throw that fucking water on me! Don't you fucking dare!"

Jordan Belfort: "People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit."
Donnie Azoff: "Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think."
Jordan Belfort: "Is she like, a first cousin?"
Donnie Azoff: "Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect."

Mark Hanna: "The name of the game, moving the money from the client's pocket to your pocket."
Jordan Belfort: "But if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct?"
Mark Hanna: "No."

Jordan Belfort: "Sell me this pen."
Brad: "Write me your name on this napkin."
Jordan Belfort: "I can't, I don't have a pen."
Brad: "There you go, it's a matter of supply and demand."

"See those little black boxes? They're called telephones. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. They're not gonna dial themselves. Okay? Without you, they're just worthless hunks of plastic. Like a loaded M16 without a trained marine to pull the trigger."

"OK, first rule of Wall Street - Nobody - and I don't care if you're Warren Buffet or Jimmy Buffet - nobody knows if a stock is going up, down or f-ing sideways, least of all stockbrokers. But we have to pretend we know."

"Oh! Hey! Is it Wednesday already?"

"This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! 'They're gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, cos I ain't going nowhere!'"