Wilson

Wilson: "That is quite a tattoo."
Silverwolf: "How's that?"
Wilson: "It's like the ultimate argument ender. It's like, 'No, I don't want your fucking job. I want to destroy your entire society.'"

Wilson: "My ex, she's a good woman. I just have to help her embrace her maternal nature."
Sinammon: "Sorry, I can't help you with that."
Wilson: "In that case I guess I'll take a blowjob then."
Sinammon: "Alright."
Wilson: [to himself] "I should have brought my wallet."

Wilson: "We all want people to love us for exactly who we are, so we got to make the best of what we have."
[Wilson almost causes a car crash]
Pippi: "Wilson!"
Wilson: "Oh, man, I think I wet myself a little bit."

"I cannot believe you're taking me along on this insane instant-family!"
[to Wilson]

"If you're wondering about the lack of family resemblance, she used to be a real hippo."
[pointing to Pippi]

"Hey, dickhead, shut the fuck up! Can't you see that this woman is having a profound moment?"

Pippi: "What do you want, Wilson?"
Wilson: "Don't you want to see her in the flesh? You tell me that you don't want to see your daughter."
Pippi: "What do you want to do, stalk her?"

"I'm a father! Yes!"