How I Met Your Mother - Season 1

Barney: "I can't believe you talked me into this."
Ted: "I didn't, you followed me up here."

"I penguin-suited up to show you the error of your ways."

Lily: "Hey."
Robin: "Hey."
Lily: "Marshall just ditched out on our own party. Could you get me in there? I kinda need to kill him."
Robin: "Actually I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork. I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP; I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter."
Lily: "You know something, I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day."

"One of the 24 similarities between women and fish, they're both attracted to shiny objects. You never read my blog, do you?"

Robin: "Say you're my bitch."
Ted: "I'm your bitch. Why this time?"

Barney: "'Okay' is the name of a club. It's really exclusive. A friend of mine once stood outside for two hours and didn't get in."
Ted: "A friend of yours named 'you?'"
Barney: "No, a friend of mine named 'Shut up!'"

Ted: "Maybe I should call her. What do you guys think?"
Barney: "You dumped a pornstar? Friendship over. [Stands up and shouts right in Ted's face] FRIENDSHIP OVER!!"

Lily: "Why would Natalie hang up on you?"
Ted: "I don't know."
Barney: "Did you sleep with her sister?"
Ted: "No."
Barney: "Did you sleep with her mom?"
Ted: "No."
Barney: "I'm losing interest in your story."