Anger Management

Chuck: "Here's my phone number."
Dave: "'You're gonna die, bitch'...?"
Chuck: "Oh, sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera."

"So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. And I was like, you know 'Don't go there,' you know. But he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor's note or something. And I said 'Look, I'm seriously serious. You DON'T want to go there. He kept talking and talking and being such a nag, and I just BLACKED OUT. I blacked out. And I woke up, and I was standing over him and I was screaming 'I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!'"

Buddy: "[throwing a plate of eggs across the room] I SAID OVEREASY! ... Now, why did I do that?"
Dave: "Because I refused to spoon with you last night?"

Dr. Buddy Rydell: "In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three of four men to share a bed."
Dave Buznik: "That's why I'm proud to be an American."

"Temper's the one thing you can't get rid of, by losing it."