Anger Management

Chuck: "After I got back, I went through a rough time. Drinkin' booze, shootin' holes in the ceilin', screamin' myself to sleep... Finally, my parents said I had to move out."
Dave: "So I'm guessing that's when you decided to shack up with your aunt."
Chuck: "Don't get cute, wise ass... But, yes."

Dr. Buddy Rydell: "Dave assaulted a female flight attendant in mid-air."
Stacy: "Nice."
Gina: "I bet you beat her good."
Dave: "I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman..."
Chuck: "Liar, bullshitter, you're a WOMAN BEATER! And you can't admit it, because you're a deluded piece of garbage!"
Dave Buznik: "I don't know about all that but... now I know why you're here."

Stacy: "Uh, we're in the adult film industry, and, we're lovers."
Gina: "Yeah."
Stacy: "So Gina was having sex with this guy Meelo which was totally cool cause it was in the script."
Gina: "So we invited him back to the house because we like a little variety..."
Stacy: "I look up and see Gina kissing Meelo on the MOUTH which is not cool, because it violates our threesome code of ethics!"
Gina: "So Stacy bit my toe off."
Stacy: "Then Meelo starts yelling, calling me a crazy skank..."
Gina: "And nobody talks to my bitch that way!"
Stacy: "That's right."
Gina: "So I stapled his lip shut."
Dave: "Well, we've all... been there."

Dr. Buddy Rydell: "Might I have your first name, Mr. Head, and tell me it isn't Dick."
Frank Head: "It's Frank!"
Dr. Buddy Rydell: "Ah, Fran. Isn't that normally a girl's name?"

"Eskimos seem nice."

"What? Do you think you're better than me, 'cause you got both your nuts?"

Dr. Buddy Rydell: "Let me explain something to you, Dave. There are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier."
Dave Buznik: "No, no, no. I'm the guy hiding in the frozen food section dialling 911. I swear."

Chuck: "Yeah? And I'm sure I just heard him mutter some kind of anti-Semitic remark."
Dave: "Are you Jewish?"
Chuck: "I could be, but no. Half Irish, half Italian, half Mexican."