Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Ted: "Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?"
Bill: "Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides, we told ourselves to listen to this guy."
Ted: "What if we were lying?"
Bill: "Why would we lie to ourselves?"

Missy: "Hi, Bill. Want a ride?"
Bill: "Sure, Missy... I mean, Mom."
Ted: "Your stepmom's cute."
Bill: "Shut up, Ted."
Ted:" Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?"
Bill: "Shut up, Ted!"

Bill: "It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269."
Ted: "Please welcome, the very excellent barbarian..."
Ted, Bill: "...MR. GENGHIS KHAN!"
[applause]
Ted: "This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods."

Ted: "Now your dad's going for it in your own room!"
Bill: "Shut up, Ted."
Ted: "Your stepmom *is* cute, though."
Bill: "Shut up, Ted!"
Ted: "Remember when I asked her to the prom?"
Bill: "SHUT UP, TED!"

"You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!"

Bill: "You ditched Napoleon!"
Ted: "Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas?"
Deacon: "He was a dick."

"It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a 'salad dressing dude!."

Evil Duke: "Put them in the iron maiden."
Ted: "Iron Maiden?"
Bill, Ted: "Excellent!"
[playing air guitar]
Evil Duke: "Execute them."
Bill, Ted: "Bogus!"