Deadpool

"Now let's dance... and by dance I mean, let's kill each other."

"Your crazy matches my crazy, big time."

"Did you ever see 127 Hours? Spoiler alert."

"I would go with you, but... I don't want to."

Deadpool: "I've been traveling to exotic places, Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville, meeting new and exciting people."
Weasel: "And killing them, I know, I saw your Instagram. So what was a special operatives doing in Jacksonville?"
Deadpool: "That's classified. They have a wonderful TGI Fridays!"

"Cancer is like Yakov Smirnoff opening for the Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair."

Colossus: "Do you have off switch?"
Deadpool: "Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?"

Wade: "What is that?"
Weasel: "That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long..."