Meet Joe Black

William Parrish: "You want me to be your guide?"
Joe Black: "You fit the bill, Bill."

"When I introduce you, and I tell them who you are, I don't think anyone will stay for dinner."

Drew: We all know this deal is as certain as death and taxes.
Joe Black: "Death and taxes?"
Drew: "Yes."
Joe Black: "DEATH and taxes?"
Drew: "Yes."
Joe Black: "What an odd pairing."

"You're the poison Drew. You've operated behind the scenes to suborn the trust of a man who has stamped you with his imprimatur of class, elegance and stature. I've had the opportunity to be a witness to every kind and degree of deception but Bill Parish has been on the receiving end of machinations so Machiavellian that it has rarely been my experience to encounter and yet he has combated them himself stoically and selflessly without revealing my identity. Had he violated the vow of secrecy he took, his task would have been far easier, he could have turned defeat into victory. But he is too honorable of a man to have done that, because of me, he has lost his work, his company, his reputation, so now, given these losses, I'm compelled to end the need for secrecy."

Drew: "And who would've thought... you, an IRS agent."
Joe Black: "Death and Taxes."

"I've felt loved, and that's all that matters. So, never mind favorites. You're allowed to have one. The point is, you've been mine."

Quince: "Do you like me, Joe?"
Joe Black: "Oh, yes, Quince. You're one of my favorites."

"Should you choose to test my resolve in this matter, you will be facing a finality beyond your comprehension, and you will not be counting days, or months, or years, but milleniums in a place with no doors."