Paul

"My weed!"

"This is America. Kidnapping a Christian is worse than harboring a fugitive."

"It's not fat, it's power!"

Ruth: "Fuck-a-roo, that was the best titty-farting sleep I have ever had."
Paul: "I got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth? Look, cursing's fun, you just gotta pick your moments, okay?"
Graeme Willy: "Hey, maybe we should stop for some food, is anybody hungry?"
Paul: "Fuck yeeah!"
Ruth: "You bet your big fat cock I am!"
Paul: "Nice!"

Graeme Willy: "What's the matter Clive?"
Clive Gollings: "There is an alien in the kitchen making bagels and coffee."
Graeme Willy: "Did you want tea?"
Clive Gollings: "No, I don't want tea!"
Graeme Willy: "Right, because tea is weird in America."

Graeme Willy: "What did you do to him?"
Paul: "I didn't do anything to him... he fainted!"
Graeme Willy: "But you made him faint!"
Paul: "It's not like I set my phaser to faint!"
Graeme Willy: "You've got a phaser?"

"YO! Fucknuts! It's Probing time."
[speaking to rednecks]

Graeme Willy: "You are an alien!"
Paul: "To you I am, yes."
Graeme Willy: "Are you gonna probe us?"
Paul: "'Why' does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?"