Zombieland

"Have you ever read that book 'She's Just Not That Into You'?"

"Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I've seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles and just everything. Six people left in the world and one of them is Bill fucking Murray. I know that's not your middle name. I've been watching you since I was like... Since I could masturbate. I mean, not that they're connected."

"It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm."

"Where are the fucking Twinkies?"

"You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab."

"When Tallahassee goes Hulk on a zombie, he sets the standard for 'not to be fucked with'."

Tallahassee: "Are you fucking with me?"
Columbus: "Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we're going down that hill. It is very important."
Tallahassee: "I don't believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?"

"I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland."