The Family * Quotes

"Al Capone always said, asking polite with a gun in your hand is always better than just asking polite."

"Hey boys, is this your approach to women? You're not gonna get very far. Girls are not some toys that you fuck in the park! Okay? Your future depends on women, don't you care about your future? So take care of them, or else you're not gonna have one."
[after beating up a French guy with a tennis racket]

Maggie Blake: "The human body was not designed to combat saturated fat like that. The butter impregnates the tissues, and then it hardens and settles like silt. It makes your aorta stiffer than a hockey stick. Whereas olive oil - caresses your insides, leaving nothing behind but its scent."
Caputo: "That's right. Oil is in the Bible."

"I'm a good guy. I'll prove it to you in 10 points. A bit like one of Letterman's Late Show Top 10 Lists. So here we go...
Number 10: I am always up front. Always.
Number 9: I never look for a scape goat.
Number 8: If you give me a job, I'll always see it through.
Number 7: I've never shown contempt for people who fear me.
Number 6: I've never betrayed the guy who gave me my first gun.
Number 5: I never wished any harm on anybody.
Number 4: I lived outside the law, but only outlaws didn't judge me.
Number 3: Anybody who doesn't contradict me can expect nothing but good things from me.
Number 2: In my neighborhood when I was running it, there was never a single robbery on the street. People lived and slept peacefully.
Number 1 of the top 10 reasons why I'm a good guy? I don't like to cause pain for no reason, because all my sadistic urges are satisfied when I cause pain for a good reason."

"You take all that silverware out of your purse and put it back before I break all your fucking fingers, capice?"

Warren: "Have you ever noticed the number of things dad is capable of expressing just with the word 'fuck'?"
Maggie: "Trying to say dad is a litter?"
Warren: "No, I mean he's a good old boy, so you know he talks to be understood, not just to sound good. So from him a 'fuck' would mean 'holly shit, what did I just get myself into' or 'great pasta' or 'I'm gonna get that guy for that'. So, why does a guy like that need to stay up all night writing? He could already express the entire range of human emotions with a single word."

Fred Blake: "Is everything all right?"
Maggie Blake: "Nothing much, just the prospect of packing up and moving again when they find out you killed the plumber."
Fred Blake: "I didn't kill him, I took him to the hospital."
Maggie Blake: "Why'd you beat him to a pulp? He's the only plumber within a radius of 20 miles."
Fred Blake: "But he disrespected us and he made you wait on him, honey."
Maggie Blake: "Geez, honey, I survived."
Fred Blake: "And you know the guy was trying to rip me off, so put yourself in my shoes."
Maggie Blake: "Oh, I definitely wouldn't have beaten him up. I mean, who's gonna fix the pipes now?"
Fred Blake: "Well who's gonna rebuild the supermarket that burned down the day we got here? Huh?"