Will Arnett

Batman: "Hey mom, hey dad, I, um, I saved the city again today. I think you would have been really proud."
Alfred: "There you are!"
[Batman, shocked by Alfreds sudden aappearance, kicks him accross the room]
Batman: "Alfred, I am so sorry. I have incredible reflexes."
Alfred: "I should have known better than to have sneaked up on you like that. Were you looking at the old family pictures again?"
Batman: "No, I wasn't."
Alfred: "Sir, I have seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966."
Batman: "I have aged phenomenally."
Alfred: "Do you want to walk about how you're feeling?"
Batman: "What! No! I don't want to do that!"
Alfred: "Sir."
Batman: "No!"
Alfred: "Sir."
Batman: "No, no, no, no, no."
Alfred: "Sir ..."
Batman: "No, no, no, no, no, no ..."

Batman: "Are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way?"
Robin: "I sure am, but first where's the seatbelt?"
Batman: "The first lesson is: Life doesn't give you seat belts!"

Alfred: "Master Bruce, your greatest fear is..."
Batman: "Snakes?"
Alfred: "No."
Batman: "It's clowns."
Alfred: "No. it's being part of a family again."
Batman: "Nope. Now it's snake clown because you put that idea in my head."

The Joker: "Hi, Batman!"
Robin: "No way!"
The Joker: "Come catch your greatest enemy."
Batman: "Superman is my greatest enemy."
Robin: "Superman's not a bad guy!"
Batman: "Then I'd say that I don't currently have a bad guy. I am fighting a few different people."
[Joker looks angry]
Batman: "I like to fight around."

Robin: "Wow, do I get a costume?"
Batman: "Don't touch that."
Puter: "The Mariachi."
Robin: "I like that one."
Batman: "That one is culturally insensitive."
Puter: "Night Terror."
Robin: "What do we think of this?"
Puter: "Glambat."
Robin: "This one."
Batman: "Absolutely not!"
[the next costume is called ]"
Robin: [sees the Reggae Man costume] "Wait, what's that one there? [he puts it on] I love it. The only trouble is these pants are just a little tight. I got an idea. [takes off the pants] Rip! That's better. Now I'm free, now I'm moving. Come on, Batman, let's get grooving!"
[shaking his naked butt at Batman]
Batman: "I can only look you in the eyes right now."

Barbara Gordon: "Hi. Barbara Gordon. New police commissioner. It's my dream for the police force to team up with Batman."
Bruce Wayne: "What?!"
Barbara Gordon: "Wouldn't that be better?"
Bruce Wayne: "I hate everything you just said."

Batman: "Hey, 'puter, I'm home."
Puter: "Welcome home, sir. Initializing Batcave music."

Robin: "Batman! Wow!"
Batman: "You're darn right 'Wow'."
Robin: "Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?"
Batman: "No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic."