Hancock

Hancock: "The way you deal with bullies... you take your right foot, bring it right up and catch him in his little piss pump."
Mary: "You don't have to do that, honey. Okay? Seriously."
Aaron: "It's a good idea."
Hancock: "You aim straight, make sure he can't use that thing for nothin' but a flap to keep the dust out of his butt crack."

"You're gonna change the world. Good job, Ray."

"If Ray ever finds out about me, you're dead."

Ray: "So you've used the door, the building's still intact, people are happy you've arrived, they feel safe now, there's an officer there and he's done a good job, so you might want to tell him he's done a good job."
Hancock: "What the hell did I have to come for Ray if he's done a good job?"

Ray: [shows Hancock his new uniform] "For when they call."
Hancock: "I ain't wearing that, Ray."
Ray: "Yes, you are."
Hancock: "Oh no, I'm not."
Ray: "No, you are."
Hancock: "Actually, I'm not Ray."
Ray: "You think you're not, but you are."
Hancock: "I will fight crime butt-ass naked before I fight it in that, Ray."
Ray: "You know, you have fought naked. We got that. That's on Youtube."

"Three guys in the car with no girls. Rave music. Hey, I'm not going to judge."

Ray: "Why were you flying? You were flying, Mary."
Hancock: "Yeah, she was definitely flying."
Mary: "Okay, I was flying. And I'm very strong as well. It's just the way we are."
Ray: "We?"
Mary: "Me and him. It's just us now. All the others paired up and died."
Hancock: "Oh, you didn't say anything about the others paired up, at the trailer."
Ray: "You were at his trailer."
Mary: "It's very hard for me to explain."
Ray: "Great, I'm all ears, Mary."
Hancock: "Me too."

Ray: "Did you shove a man's head up another man's ass?"
Hancock: [nodding] "mhh.."