How To Be Single

Alice: "I'm gonna be alone forever... at least my dead body will service food for my cats... in the eight weeks that it takes for anybody to find me because nobody gives a fuck..."
Meg: "Why are you watching Bridget Jones?"

Lawyer: "You're three and a half hours late!"
Robin: "Yeah, lunchtime!"

"I knew I had sex in this appartment."

Alice: "We need to know what it's like to be single, just for once."
Josh: "Can't you just fuck all my friends?"

"I did think this through."

Alice: "We have to be at work in like thirty minutes."
Robin: "I can do this in twenty."

Robin: "You really need to get that taken care of."
Alice: "What do you mean? I barely have any hair."
Robin: "You should close your legs, there’s a reason I stopped watching Duck Dynasty... Is that Tom Hanks from Cast Away? Seriously, it’s like Gandalf is staring right at me: No penis shall pass!"

"The thing about single is you should cherish it."