Office Christmas Party

"Save that shit for the 4th date, like a normal person."

"First rule of business: shoot for the moon and land on the sun."

[Carol is holding down a huge man in a wrestler grip]
Josh: "You do not want to die at the hands of Lulu Lemon here. It'll be really embarrassing for you, you're a large guy and she's made of nothing but salad and smartwater."
[the man taps Carol to show he gives up]
Carol: "No... no tap outs."

Josh: "Did you rent a live baby?"
Clay: "What? It's cheaper than you think."

"This party has to rock."

"Hey, so, are you going to be inviting your fake girlfriend to the holiday party later? I mean, I just want to make sure you have time to inflate her."
[to Nate]

"This is a sample cheeseboard for our holiday mixer tonight."

Wendy: "If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend put my children on her motorcycle one more time, I will Gone Girl you so hard! [to Josh] You can go ahead."
Josh: "I'm just going to go in."