The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur: "I have to say, without the beard you look at least 80 years younger."
Trillian: "Well, maybe I'm de-evolving?"
Arthur: "Ha ha!"
Trillian: "Ha ha!"
Arthur: "Well, I should inform you that I don't date single-celled organisms."

Marvin: "I've been talking to the main computer."
Arthur: "And?"
Marvin: "It hates me."

"I checked The Guide for the best way to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere, it said *don't*."

"Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poetmaster, Grunthos the Flatulent, of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. The absolute worst poetry in the universe was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. Thankfully it was destroyed when the earth was."

"The election is ancient history, Zaphod. If memory serves, you won, proving that good looks and charm win over brilliance and the ability to govern. And for the record? You ARE stupid."

Mr. Prosser: "Do you know how much damage this bulldozer would sustain if I just let it roll over you?"
Arthur: "How much?"
Mr. Prosser: "None at all."

Arthur: "Let's go somewhere."
Trillian: "Definitely. Where'd you have in mind?"
Ford: "I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe."

"That doesn't sound good."