Smokey and the Bandit

"What the hell is the world coming to?"

"One shit at a time!"

"You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn't lookin'."

"Any fool who would paint his truck like this would show up at a minister's funeral dressed in feathers."

Big Enos: "Twenty to one I break the son of a bitch this time."
Little Enos: "Gimme five-hundred on the Bandit."

Cledus: "Hey Bandit. Me an' Fred's got a question."
Bandit: "What you an' Fred want?"
Cledus: "How come we doin' this?"
Bandit: "Well why not?"
Cledus: "Well they said it couldn't be done."
Bandit:" Well thats the reason, son!"
Cledus: "That's good with Fred. We're clear."

Carrie: "Actually, my heaviest relationship was with an acid-rock singer... named Robert Crumly. We were together, oh, eight-and-a-half days. God, I really thought that was it."
Bandit: "And?"
Carrie: "One day, I came home and found him in the shower... with a girl... and her mother!"
Bandit: "Well, at least he kept it in the family."

"Daddy! Wait! Who's gonna hold your hat?"