The Grand Budapest Hotel

"This is van Hoytl's exquisite portrayal of a beautiful boy on the cusp of manhood. Blond, smooth skin as white as that milk, of impeccable provenance. One of the last in private hands, and unquestionably the best. It's a masterpiece. The rest of this shit is worthless junk."

M. Gustave: "The beginning of the end of the end of the beginning has begun. A sad finale played off-key on a broken-down saloon piano in the outskirts of a forgotten ghost town. I'd rather not bear witness to such blasphemy.
Zero: Me neither."
M. Gustave: "The Grand Budapest has become a troops' barracks. I shall never cross its threshold again in my lifetime."
Zero: "Me neither."
M. Gustave: "Never again shall I..."
Zero: "Actually I think we might be going in there right now after all!"

M. Gustave: "It's quite a thing, winning the loyalty of a woman like that for nineteen consecutive seasons."
Zero: "Uhm... yes, sir."
M. Gustave: "She's very fond of me, you know."
Zero: "Yes, sir."
M. Gustave: "I've never seen her like that before."
Zero: "No, sir."
M. Gustave: "She was shaking like a shitting dog."
Zero: "... truly."

Henckels: "Who's shooting who?"
Dmitri: "That's Gustave H., the escaped murderer and art thief! I've got him cornered!"
M. Gustave: "That's Dmitri Desgoffe und Taxis! He's responsible for the killing of Deputy Kovacs, Serge X and his club-footed sister, plus his own mother!"
Henckels: "Nobody move! Everybody's under arrest!"

M. Gustave: "She was dynamite in the sack, by the way."
Zero: "She was 84, Monsieur Gustave!"
M. Gustave: "Mmh... I've had older. When you're young, it's all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Which is fine with me, because I like those. More flavorful... or so they say."

Dmitri: "This criminal has plagued my family for nearly 20 years. He's a ruthless adventurer and a con artist who preys on mentally feeble, sick old ladies! And he probably fucks them, too!"
M. Gustave: "I go to bed with all my friends."

"Well, what does it say? Where is it? What's it all about, damn it? Don't keep us in suspense, Serge, this has been a complete fucking nightmare! Just tell us what the fuck is going on!"

M. Gustave: "Serge X: missing. Deputy Kovacs: also missing. Madame D, dead. Boy with apple, stolen... by us. Dmitri and Jopling: ruthless, cold-blooded savages. Gustave H: at large. What else?"
Zero: "Zero: confused."
M. Gustave: "Zero: confused... indeed. The plot thickens, as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?"
Zero: "I don't know."