Zoey Deutch

Laird Mayhew: "I have a little surprise. Da-dah!"
[reveals a massive tattoo with the whole family on his back]
Ned Fleming: "Is that our Christmas card?"
Laird Mayhew: "It's all of you!"
Barb Fleming: "And it says 'Happy Holidays' and everything."
Laird Mayhew: "It says 'Happy Holidays'?"
Stephanie Fleming: "Yeah."
Laird Mayhew: "Woh, f*ck. I didn't know he'd put 'Happy Holidays' on there. I guess that's on me forever now."

"Laird has literally no filter, but he's a really good guy."
[to Ned]

Emily: "I pray every night that you don't go straight to hell."
Ethan: "Oh, I won't go straight to hell, Emily. I wanna stop off in New York first."

Ned Fleming: "Steph, you could be dating anyone. Why Laird?"
Stephanie Fleming: "He makes me really happy."

Stephanie Fleming: "Is that a drone?"
Ned Fleming: "Laird is spying on us!"
Stephanie Fleming: "What?"
Ned Fleming: "Do not mess with me!"