Why Him?

Ned Fleming: "Steph, you could be dating anyone. Why Laird?"
Stephanie Fleming: "He makes me really happy."

Laird Mayhew: "Ned, on Christmas day I'm going to ask Stephie to marry me and I'd really like your blessing."
[Ned chuckles]
Laird Mayhew: "Yeah?"
Ned Fleming: "No."
Laird Mayhew: "Look, just give me a couple of days to win you over, by Christmas morning you're gonna call me son and I'm gonna call you dad."
Ned Fleming: "I don't think it's gonna happen."
Laird Mayhew: "I think it's gonna, dad."
Ned Fleming: "I know it won't."
Laird Mayhew: "Dad, it will."
Ned Fleming: "Stop that."
Laird Mayhew: "What, dad?"
Ned Fleming: "That, dad. Stop that."
Laird Mayhew: "Dad, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know what his issues are. I feel like I'm so normal."

"No father would want their daughter with this guy."

"It turns out her boyfriend is this internet zillionaire."

[During family dinner]
Laird Mayhew: "Remember when we made love in the hot tub? Steph opened up like a flower, you should have seen it."
Barb Fleming: "I shouldn't have seen it but now I feel like I have."

"Laird has literally no filter, but he's a really good guy."
[to Ned]

Laird Mayhew: "I have a little surprise. Da-dah!"
[reveals a massive tattoo with the whole family on his back]
Ned Fleming: "Is that our Christmas card?"
Laird Mayhew: "It's all of you!"
Barb Fleming: "And it says 'Happy Holidays' and everything."
Laird Mayhew: "It says 'Happy Holidays'?"
Stephanie Fleming: "Yeah."
Laird Mayhew: "Woh, f*ck. I didn't know he'd put 'Happy Holidays' on there. I guess that's on me forever now."